Thursday, May 8, 2014

You Never Forget

We all wish we had not seen some of the thing we did; whether you were on a Paid or Volly Department .   I also had the "pleasure" of seeing an infusion room more than I wanted.  Two years cancer free and today, while accompanying a family member to a doctor's appointment, I saw my first infusion room since that time. 


Same recliners, same looking I.V. poles.  I was OK for a bit, then they started to hang the I.V. bags and that was it.  All the memories of being in that room  flooded back.  I saw what I saw so many times before; folks getting hooked up.  Then I realized what was different.. what was bothering me.?

I wasn't in there.

I wasn't talking to the other patients.  I was not giving words of encouragement.  I failed as a FF/EMT/Chappy.  I let those people down.  I should have gone and talked to them.  Reassured them that you can win against whatever disease you are fighting. 

When I got home, I needed to think this out and ask myself a few questions.

Out to the "Man Cave" -- surrounded by fire trucks, tools, books, and patches. (I love to look at them since they belong to some friends and past departments I was in).

I was in my comfort zone.  I looked around and my eyes focused on the "Flag of Honor" - right to the name I've looked at so many times before.  Paul A Tegtmeier.  Fellow FF, mentor and friend to both myself and my mother.  Then I thought ..... thought hard.

What would Paul have told me?  Sitting outside in the country, listening ot the birds, looking at nature... my garden & flowers.  It's all very comforting and the perfect place to just sit and think.

"Do what you do best.  Be there for people.  You have seen the victims at MVAs, the cardios and the infusion rooms.  Get in there and do your job."

One other thing I keep in my cave is a set of rosary beads that belonged to my Pops.  I prayed the Rosary and asked the Lord for forgiveness for not doing my job.  I sat for awhile and then I felt it.  Rain on my face.  Rain, the giver of life that washes away everything so it is clean and fresh.

Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to what I need to do.  First I need to reconnect with those that I talked to in the past.   I have most of your phone numbers- but lost a few when my cell phone crashed, but please email me ( with your number.

Second, I need to follow my own advice.  "Never give up, never given in and never forget!!"

For my friends, FD, PD, EMS and LEOs- my the Lord hold you close and protect you.  Please remember those that are hurting both mentally and physically and grant them serenity and peace.

Best Regards -
   Chappy Tex (Tommy)

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