Saturday, March 31, 2012

March 30, 2012

Today has been what one could call an emotional roller coaster from Hell....I lost my Dad three years ago today to cancer and now I am fighting it. My mind is such a mess it is hard to write this. So if I ramble I apologize. First let me say I went for a CT Scan yesterday to see where I was at with my treatment...

So, I went for my scan on pumped with contrast into my port and then it was "Breath In", "Hold it", "Exhale"...I hate that damn machine...the voice, the little pictures of what to do. If you have been there you know what I mean, if not..I hope you don't have to. It is not like the tunnel that I was scanned in before, where people tend to freak out. That never bothered me, it was confined space....been there done that and without a Scott Pack...So they did the scan and then I was done, now I waited for the results..
Further Info:
My Daughter was married on March 28, 2009...such a great day for a proud father but also there was some own father was gravely ill from the cancer that had taken over his body and so he, my mom and most of my family was at his bedside awaiting the worse and unable to attend the wedding As we celebrated the joyous union and tried to "stream" it so Dad could watch, he was slipping further away.I was to fly out on the 30th to be there but alas I was too late. An early morning call from my brother to say Dad had passed and I was off to Florida to bury my Dad...My Dad who was a Navy Vet, a past Grand Knight with the Knight's of Columbus and also served on the state board, along with being an officer with the Ancient Order of the Hibernians. His wake, funeral and internment was attended by three color guards. A Man who gave much to his Country, his Church and his Heritage....Thanks Dad for what you instilled in me and what I have tried to pass on to others...

Back to the present...

 As stated my day started like crap. I was feeling very down and had looked at the Mass Cards and photos of my Dad, it was hard to believe it was three years since his passing. After crying for a bit, then a shower I was off to work with a heavy heart. I went through the motions and tried not to let my feelings get in the way of my job. As I have told and been told many times, "check your feelings at the door, the costumers don't care". Late in the day my phone rang, it was the Drs. Office and I answered...What I heard next almost blew me away...."Tom, we got the results from your scan, you are in the clear". Wow, I was on cloud nine as they say...I had bought lotto tickets for the gazzilion dollar drawing, but as far as I was concerned I had won a lot bigger prize already!! Time to start making some calls...the first was to my Mom and we agreed for such a dismal day, this was great news and agreed Dad was looking down from Heaven and was smiling upon me...then there were calls to my kids, my Aunt and some special friends that had been such a part of my battle. Then there was another way I could pass on this news, social I posted the great news on Face Book and also let some folks know in a "shout box" that I frequent....The outpouring of congrats was very humbling.

I can't begin to thank everyone enough for their thoughts and prayers over the last year. You all hold a very special place in my heart. I still have to have the IV port removed from my chest and will still go back for checks and scans, but for now the worst is behind me.

I started this blog so that I could help those that were going through Chemo understand what it was like and also to let people know to NEVER GIVE UP!! The question now is where do I go from here? My "Admin" here and I are looking into other ways that this blog can help others and any input would be appreciated. Please leave a comment here or on The Firefighter Battles Cancer Face Book page.

Once again, a big THANKS to all that have followed me through this fight and please, Take Care, Never Give Up and Never Forget!!

aka "Tex"
aka "@tommyhark on twitter

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